In Defense of Fashion

So here I am, munching on my nectarine,
Flipping through the pages of Nylon magazine.

That rhymed, but this isn't a poem.
Bitch please, I didn't even have a single cup of coffee today.
(Post publishing edit: I did later.)

Today I'm thinking about fashion, makeup, & the careers and businesses surrounding them. This female-dominated realm is something in which I ricochet back and forth, as far as whether I take it seriously or not. Whether I like it or not. Whether it's worth my time or not.

And deciding whether you like something or not is very important, I think. Never definitive and final, but always very important.

I decided a long time ago that I do not like expectation. And unfortunately, I think life for a lot of people is built around expectation. There's a comfort to it and a need for it. But expecting I'll graduate from college, get a job, settle down, have 2.5 kids and a pension plan is necessary but not very interesting, no. I'll be happy to have all those things (and views can always change) but I'm not fired up about it. Not now at least. Not at all.

I also decided a long time ago that I love art. I love creating it and admiring it. And I know what kind of art I like. More Warhol than Whistler. More Gorey than Gauguin. And more Louboutin than Leonardo. I prefer art without the expectation of enjoying it in a museum where you're supposed to enjoy art. I like flipping through the pages of a magazine and finding art. I like walking down the street and finding art. I like rolling out of bed in the morning, smearing on my makeup while my eyes are still blurry from sleeping with my contacts in, and then realizing I did a pretty artistic job blending my eyeshadow regardless.

I like constantly reinventing myself with art. Fashion and makeup allow me to do that.

That's about it. Really.

So many people view the world of fashion, design and couture as superficial, vapid and useless. I often thought that way too, because in the great scheme of things, what I wear today doesn't mean a damn thing and doesn't make a bit of difference to anyone 100 years from now, 10 years, 1 year, tomorrow.

But I'm not hanging around 100 years from now, I'm hanging around right here, and if a boucle sweater and leggings make me feel sexy and happy right now, then sweet muffins!

So billions of women and gay men, if I may embrace some stereotypes, read Vogue, Vanity Fair, and other fashion magazines, or watch Top Model and Project Runway, inhaling fashion advice and goggling at images with anticipation, fascination, and devotion that others may compare to following politics, music, or sports.

I like some of them. I like the flamboyant Sanjaya look-alike that just got kicked off the designer reality show because he threw a hissy fit about his model being too skinny to fill out into his masterpiece fringed poncho. Dude, I'd be upset too. That fringe took like two days.

I do not like the ET correspondents who flock to the red carpet begging to know who Blake Lively is wearing. Brands are dumb. I also hate when celebrities tell fashion reporters they're wearing some obscure designer's name and get impressed responses as if they just figured out a really difficult math equation.

I think fashion is art when I like what I'm seeing. Durr. Asymmetrical shapes and offbeat colors are fashionable to me because they're interesting to look at. I don't care if bubble skirts are a great trend for the Fall, but I do care that my new skirt makes my butt look like a bubble, which is intriguing.







Maybe I just like flipping through Vogue for the voyeuristic deliciousness of their beauty, colors, and good hygiene, and that tiny hope that those "Get this look!" tips could bring me just a little closer to such a beautiful, bizarro world.

The point is, I think I get fashion as an art form. Not so much the business with whoever decides what's "in" and what's "out" and whoever thought Crocs were a good idea. But the fact that everyone wakes up in the morning (except for people who die in their sleep) and gets dressed. I see the innovative potential in fashion and cosmetics to transform this necessary task into a daily creative adventure to evoke a mood, make a statement, or generate conversation. Not with a $5000 Gareth Pughs coat of polyurethane balloons (above), but you know. That potential tastes good.

This has been Trina Tulloch, in another edition of "Desperate Attempts to Justify Herself with Seemingly Analytic Rambling." Good night, America.

The Lyrics to the Pancake Song

(from The Mighty Boosh, which you should know about)

eggs, milk and flour, pancake power,
look at his milky yellow sunshine face
flip it now flip it good oo
flip it now flip it good oo
some are salt
some are sweet
some are fruit
some are meat

the time we used the chive
it really came alive!
edible frisbees
springtime tuesday

i like to boogie.

All hail British humor.

I CAN'T TELL IF SHOPPING MAKES ME HAPPY

Terrifying.
Watch This.

Driving, Sushi, and HP6

Yesterday I got my drivers license (!!!)

Unfortunately, this still doesn't mean my dad trusts me driving alone. He has separation anxiety out the wazoo. He makes all these excuses about our insurance policy, but really he just wants me to be miserable. Truth.

I am currently eating a frozen yogurt. I don't often freeze my yogurts, I usually just eat them with tons of extra creamy Reddiwhip so I achieve my life long goal of being an All-American fatty. But someone recommended I try freezing Yoplait Whips. It's OK, in a frozen fluffy way. My spoon tastes too metallic. I broke a spoon at work today. Life is so unfair with spoons.

Apparently, I have forgotten how to type a happy and comprehensible blog post.

Let's start over.

I got my driver's license! I was shopping online a little for a car. I have such an affection for those new, boxy cars like the Cube [mobile device] and the Honda Fit. And those Smart Cars they imported recently from Europe. I don't know brands, haha, just shapes. Boxy cars look so futuristic to me, like the flying pods from The Fifth Element. Really I'd be happy with any car, but I hope the wave of boxcars means we're deep in a transition period toward digital and electric automobiles along with everything else. Sometimes I'm totally blown away by how different things are from ten years ago.

I don't even know how I would explain stuff today to someone in 1999. Did we even have iPods then? Friends was still on air. How would you tell someone back then that the funniest TV shows today don't even have laugh tracks? Holy cannoli, that was when I was in fourth grade. I had just gotten my first pair of glasses. They were wire frames. (shudder)

Anyway.

Yesterday, my mom and I went out to try a new restaurant to celebrate my acquisition of The NYS License. We meant to Koto Japanese Sushi Bar, but then my mom told me "koto" in her language means "lice." This significantly decreased my desire to go there. We instead went to a place called Hana, also a Japanese Sushi Bar, but also a steakhouse and hibachi bar.

I rarely go out for Japanese food (there are so few places here in the 518) but this place was EXTRAORDINARY. My mom and I were decided to be daring and order only dangerous sounding things. She got "Fast and Furious Sashimi" and I got "Dynamite Sushi."

Dynamite.

Our sushi chef.

Fast and Furious.

Bar.

Mmm.

What else, what else is going on. I saw HP6 twice. It was ridiculously funny the second time, because I was watching more of what was going on in the background than the main action in every scene There is some seriously funny and great acting by the extras. It's really always just very British, lots of very questionable staring. Especially Snape's reactions to everything. I really believe this is the best film to date. Everyone keeps complaining about a lack of action sequences and magic special effects, but they're the same people who thought Transformers 2 was good. Also, they paid money to go out and see Transformers 2. So I rest my case. I'm just really happy to see the younger cast starting to act and play off their amazing and experienced cast members (Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Helena Bonham Carter, Jim Broadbent, etc.)

I sound super snobbish and misleadingly interested in celebrity news, but I just really have a passion for watching British people, having grown up watching miniseries after miniseries on PBS.

A Love Letter

Dear Table 74,

It was such a delight to be your waitress this evening! You took my breath away the moment you walked through the doors. Your greeter and I may have debated in the kitchen whether or not you were completely stoned off your ass, but baby, you know that's how I like my men. Your bloodshot eyes, easy smile and ravenous appetite were more charming than anything else.

First of all, thank you so much for taking the time from your cell phone conversation to give me your order. I also really enjoyed the workout I got running back and forth to get you all those different sauces for your one turkey club. And it sure was a sexy surprise to find out you're in the army, although it would've been easier if you had asked if we give military discounts before I brought you your check.

But oh, the cherry on top of the sundae was when you left me your name and number on the bill, with a little "Call me." Brandon, I would totally call you, cause you were kind of a rugged hottie, but I'm afraid the $2 tip you left just doesn't say "true love" to me. Feel free to try again, though! *thumbs up*

Affectionately yours,
Katrina